Interview with a Derpy
by Penman288
Summary: All right, I've decided to write a one shot about my favorite pony and explain a few things about them. Enjoy.


Alright, I'm taking the time to write about my favorite Pony of All time, Derpy Hooves. Why is she my favorite? Because she reprisents the power of the fans, who took a small background character and turned her into a phenominon. This is for the fans, the bronies, and most importantly Laura Faust, who knows how to treat her fans.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the canon ponies or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

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><p>Penman288 Presents<p>

Interview with a Derp.

It was an avarge day in Ponyvill. The sun was shining, the sky was a cloudless blue thanks to Rainbow Dash, and the birds were singing a new song Fluttershy taught them. Over in Sugarcube Corner, a blue unicorn sat at a table eating a muffin nervously. He sipped his tea causiosly and looked at the door for the thirteenth time in the last ten minutes.

"Waiting for someone?" Mrs. Cake asked as she came by with a refill on tea and two muffins.

Inky Hoof sighed and nods "Yeah. Is it that noticable?"

Mrs. Cake giggled "A little. You keep looking at the door and sighing."

Inky Hoof smirked "Well, it's a bit important. See, I'm writing a new book and it's about people in Ponyville. I've organised one of my first interviews with a fairly mysterios pony and want to make sure it all goes smoothly."

Mrs Cake grinned "Really? A book over Ponyville? Well rest assured me and Mr. Cake would be more then happy to be interviewed."

Inky Hoof laughed and sipped at his tea. "Well you can be sure this tea deffinitely won you a spot on the list of canadates, and the muffins cemented it."

The door chimed signaling the entrence of a new customer and Inky and turned to see who had entered. Mrs Cake gasped and Inky smiled "Good, she's here now."

Derpy Hoovees was in building.

Mrs. Cake walked back into the kitchen and Derpy looked around the shop, her golden eyes dancing around all corners of the room.

Inky smiled and waved his hoof "Over here! Ms. Hooves! I'm here."

Derpy looked his was, sort of, and troted over "Derpy's sorry for being late, work was extra busy today."

Inky smiled and pushed the muffin in front of her "It's quite alright dear, I'm actually early. So, do you remember why we're here?" he asked, using his magic to prep a pen and paper.

Derpy frowned and brought the muffin closer "Yes. Derpy needs to answer the blue ponies questions and she'll be paid for her time and permission to use the stuff in a book." Derpy muttered, taking a bite of the muffin, cracking a smile as she chewed.

"Derpy loves Blueberry muffins! How did Blue Pony know?"

Inky smiled and took a bite of his own. "I didn't. All I knew was that you loved muffins. Blueberry is my favorite flavor."

Derpy nods "Mine too. So what questions did you have for Derpy?"

Inky smiled warmly "I just want to know more about you and what you do in Ponyville."

Derpy smiled "Okay! What does Blue pony wanna know about Derpy?"

Inky chuckled "You know, you can call me Inky if you like."

Derpy nods, taking another bite of her muffin "Just like my little muffin Dinky."

Inky smiled "So her name is Dinky then? Not many people know her name if you can believe it."

Derpy sighed "Yes, Dinky is Dinky's name. She is my little muffin, and the last thing of her fathers I own."

Inky frowned "What happened to her father?"

Derpy sniffed "He left with some other pony to Fillydelphia. He didn't even say goodbye..."

Inky was now starting to regret the question "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Derpy shook her head "It's fine, Derpy is raising Dinky just fine on her own. Besides, Derpy's too good for that two-timer."

Inky smiled "I can't argue with that. Now, there's also been confusion with your name as well, a couple ponies are saying it's Ditzy Doo."

Derpy laughed "Ditzy is Derpy's sister. She's really sweet but not very bright. She tried to go North to find Southern birds during the Winter Wrap-Up."

Inky chuckled "I remember that, Rainbow Dash was ticked!" He chuckled "I got stuck with a plowing job. Boy was my back sore after that. But I digress, were was Derpy during all of that?"

Derpy smiled "Derpy actually went south and met the fancy birds."

Inky titled his head in confusion "Fancy birds?"

Derpy nods, eyes shimmering "Oh yeah, they wore tuxedos!"

Inky thought for a bit before it hit him "Wait, you actually found penguins!"

Derpy laughed "Yeah! That's how Smart-pony acted too!"

Inky shook his head "Thats certainly south alright."

Derpy nods, brimming with pride "Yep, everypony was amazed that Derpy flew down that far but made me put them back later. Something about needing cold weather."

Inky chuckled "It's true, they can only survive in cold conditions."

Derpy rubbed the back of her head "Yeah, Derpy gets that now."

Inky smiled at the mare, this was going really well so far. She seemed to be enjoying herself, and she wasn't nearly as dumb as ponies thought.

"So Derpy, I heard you're a mail pony. That must be a tough job."

Derpy scowled standing up "And why is that?"

Inky blinked in response "I-what?"

Derpy growled and stomped over to him "Listen here." She said, turning him towards her "Just because Derpy's eyes look funny doesn't make her stupid! Derpy is just as smart as anypony here! It-it just takes a little longer to get Derpy's thoughts straight." She stated tearing up "I work hard everyday to make sure me and my muffin can live happily! Sure it gets tough, but I can handle it! Dinky is a happy little filly, and she never once told me she hates me . She loves her mommy, and her mommy loves her back! Nothing you, or anypony else can say will change that! So leave Derpy alone!" She shouted before finally breaking down sobbing.

Derpy continued to cry for a bit longer till she felt a warm hoof on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she saw Inky Hoof was crouched next to her, tears spilling from his eyes. "Oh Derpy, I never meant to insult you. I've got an uncle in Appleloosa that's a mail pony and he says it's tough work dealing with mail and people all day, thats all I meant. I know for a fact that you are one of the sweetest ponies I ever met. If you were that quick to defend yourself and your child then you also must be an amazing mother too." he smiled "I want, more then anything, to show people how the ponies of Ponyville really are, hard working ponies with a deep love of their friends and families."

Derpy sniffed, wiping her tears away "Derpy's sorry. Derpy shouldn't have lashed out like that but Derpy, Derpy knows what people think of her. They think she's just a muffin loving dummy."

Inky shrugged "They're the dumb ones, picking on a poor girl just cause her eyes look different. I think you're eyes are gorgeous." he admited with a blush.

Derpy blushed and smiled, her wings stiffening slightly. "Thanks. Derpy would like to continue the interview now, if Inky wants too."

Inky smiled and put a hoof on her shoulder "Inky would like that very much."

-FIM-

After Derpy's outburst, the interview had dissolved into the two ponies telling the other about themselves. They shared stories and enjoyed the rest of their time together un approached. Looking at the clock on the wall, Derpy gasped "Oh muffins! I need to pick little Dinky up from my sisters soon! Sorry Inky, Derpy has to go. Derpy had a wonderful time and wold love to see the book when it's finished.

Inky nodded and waved good bye as the grey pegasus turned to leave. Looking down at his half eaten muffin, he looked back up at Derpy "Wait Derpy, I've got one more question!"

Derpy turned around "Yes?" she asked, a slight rush in her tone.

Inky smiled shyly "Would you like to go out for dinner sometime?"

Derpy gasped and nodded her head vigourusly. "Derpy would love too!"

Inky grinned "Great! Send me a letter when you're ready."

"Derpy will! Bye bye Inky!" the Pegasus said as she flew off to parts unknown.

-FIM-

"And that's the story of how your mom and I met." Inky said as he sat at the foot of Dinky's bed, the small unicorn tucked in for the night.

"Thanks for telling me the story again daddy, it's my favorite." Dinky said, yawning cutely.

Inky smiled and kissed her forhead "Always happy to tell a story, it's my job. Good night Dinky."

Dinky nods and shuts her eys "Good night. Daddy? Can I have a baby brother or sister in the morning?"

Inky chuckled "We'll see what your mom says."

Dinky smiled "Okay daddy. I love you."

Inky's eyes watered, his heart melting "Love you too Dinky, sleep tight."

Shutting the door, Inky sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"She really does love you ya know." Derpy said softly as she walked towards her husband.

Inky chuckled and looked at Derpy "I know, even moths after the wedding I'm still getting used to being a dad." He hugs Derpy "You and her bring more joy to my life then I can ever say, I love you both so much."

Derpy smiles "Derpy loves you too. Oh, Derpy has a suprise for Inky!"

Inky grinned "Ooh, I like surprises. What is it?"

Derpy reached under her wing and gave Inky an envelope "The baby bird visited us! Derpy has a muffin in the oven!"

Inky smiled and opened the envelope. Though he loved his wife dearly, her "Derpinese" left him puzzled at points, but always made sense in the end.

Taking out the card inside, Inky gasped at the Stork on the front. Opening the card, he had to re-read the one sentance three times to make sure he was right.

Congratulations, you're a daddy!

"Derpy, are you really?" he asked, shaking like a leaf.

Derpy grinned and nodded at him "Yep! Derpy's gonna have a foal!"

Inky couldn't contain himself he kissed Derpy deeply and opened Dinky's door "Dinky! Guess what?" but he stopped there. The little unicorn was fast asleep, a smile on her lips.

Shutting the door once more, he looked over at Derpy and smiled "We'll tell her int the morning."

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><p>And there it is, my answers to some of the mysteries surrounding Derpy Hooves and her OC husband. I hope you enjoyed this little piece between pieces and I hope to see you again for Life is Magic.<p> 


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